Hey Friends! I’m so fired up I’m not sure where to begin.
Do I start with reminding everyone if you don’t have something nice to say shut it?
Or with “It is permissible to have an unspoken thought” aka scrolling past a facebook status IS a good idea.
Maybe talk about really good reasons to judge as a Christian?
No, I think I’ll start at the beginning.
A fellow female Christian business owner recently posted the following status:
Spread the news! We’re hiring a new personal assistant! Here’s the job description. Also, if you’ve ever been curious about exactly WHAT tasks I outsource around the house, this post gives you a full list! – Diana Kerr is a Certified Professional Life Coach. Her mission is to help you minimize what overwhelms you and make time for what matters most!
She runs a Christian business. She is a Christian and her business is tailored to other Christian women.
The amount of backlash she took for this post was insane. The job description included some housecleaning duties as well. While I won’t give a ton of my space to the trolls that berated her, one woman said she was unfollowing and unfriending Diana because “my 10 years of Catholic schooling and bible studies makes me 100,000,000% sure that Jesus and I would not associate with someone with such a severe lack of humility. Best of luck to you all and better luck to the help you hire.”
Insert string of very bad words.
Guys, guys, what the heck? First, to this lady who knows Jesus would clean toilets instead of hiring it out, BYE FELICIA.
Delegating things so you can give more time and attention to other things is not a lack of humility, it’s freakin’ using the brains God gave you. The remarks got worse and worse, attacking her personally, saying she was entitled and couldn’t do her own shopping, blah, blah, blah.
There were several voices of reason to shine through, BUT is this who we are? Women who tear down one another because we don’t make the same business or chore division choice? My heart is aching.
I personally messaged her to apologize for humanity in general and give her a fist bump for moving past the b.s. remarks.
I have had a cleaning lady on and off for 15 years. I don’t need to explain why. I do know a few people who made fun of me, “She can’t clean her own house?” I can but who really wants to clean toilets, ever, much less when I could be playing with my kids or working on my website or any other thing I choose to do. It’s my plate, I know when it’s too full. It’s my money, I can spend it how I see fit. Plus if I hire someone isn’t this a win, win? We both get the desired outcome and use our time to best fit our lives.
Why are we women so quick to judge each other? We have become graceless, hiding behind our computers, spouting our opinions on everything. If this were an ad in the local paper would you call Diana to tell her the crappy things you said on social media? My guess is no.
If you really want to judge make it about something important like my eyebrows or the kind of car I drive or what’s in my shopping cart. But wait, none of that IS important so keep your judging to yourself.
We are all just passing through, this is not our home and the world’s opinion is of ZERO consequence. Jesus loves me and YOU. He needs us at our best to love and serve Him and His people.
What does our best look like? It’s different for each of us. For me it looks like enough rest, enough water, enough time spent in prayer. Enough play, enough exercise, enough time with people who love me. It looks like service to others through my words of kindness and encouragement, it looks like service to others through my actions of giving time, talent and treasure…in non-church speak that’s time, energy, the stuff I’m good at and my money. It looks like lifting up, encouraging. It looks like love.
There is not an 11th commandment that says:
Thou Shalt Clean Her Own ________.(toilet or anything else).
There is a no coveting the neighbors stuff…maybe some of the people who have such an issue are really closet coveters and want their own cleaning lady…hmmm.
For me it’s crystal clear who we are to be and how we are to behave. Jesus told us in the New Testament. Love God and love your neighbor.
It ain’t easy. But these remarks go beyond not loving. They are just mean and completely unnecessary.
Think what you want, just don’t say it. Wait, maybe not. Here’s what happens, you think all this crappy stuff about everyone else, it seeps into your heart. Now we have a crappy mind and a crappy heart, it won’t be long before these thoughts become words and now you have a crappy attitude and a crappy life. Just keep scrolling. Maybe ask yourself why you’re so fired up about x,y,z and do a little soul searching. That’s what I do. I see stuff I don’t agree with all the time. Sometimes it’s because the stuff is legit garbage. Other times when I look inside it’s because I’m letting it make me feel less than. I’m not less, I’m different. I’m living my life my way. If you don’t like it, keep scrolling.
Whew, I’m feeling a little better but still, my heart is heavy. As women we really need to stick together. It takes a village. We’re all just trying to get it right, to make it through. We do not need to agree on every detail but kindness does matter. Mercy is necessary. The grace of God covers each of us, let’s act like it.
Be sure to say a prayer for Diana, for her trolls, for all of us.
FYI for kicks I took a very unscientific poll on my personal Facebook page asking “If you could hire out some tasks in your household would you?”
15 people responded, all said YES. 14 people liked/loved the status. Not one person said no. Not sure if that means my people know how to scroll past something they disagree with or my people are all using the brains God gave them and outsourcing when able. Either way, we’re golden.
I’m done for now. Here is your Hire out the toilet cleaning 1,2,3 and 4.
#1 You do you.
#2 Keep judgement for important stuff like eyebrows.
#3 Jesus would outsource.
#4 Love each other.
Peace and Love,
Mindi Huebner is a girl boss, professional conversationalist, crazy forgiver and Co-Founder of Pure Grace, LLC. Mindi is scandalously obsessed with leaving people and things better than she found them. If you think LOVE is always the answer, join her as she writes about her road trips with God. If you don’t think love is always the answer, join her anyway. Go.Be.Love